Tag Archives: Self Esteem

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Living with COVID 19/Corona…. Self Care in a time of chaos.

Hands up who is totally sick of the phrase “The New Normal”? Who feels like they’re slowly loosing it? Well, thankfully you’re not alone. What on Earth is normal about any of this?

Daily, I hear how frustrated people are that they are supposed to accept and just assimilate into this strange and totally counterintuitive ‘new way of living’ They feel they cannot complain about their worries or loneliness, because “we’re all in this together”and it feels selfish. But, most of us, need more than clever slogans to manage and to cope during this strange and, frankly, bonkers, time.
The solutions seem to all recommend “Self Care”, so what is it and how do we become masters at self caring?

A lot of advertising and social media have hijacked the notion and are recommending that we “Eat the Cake, Buy the Shoes, Live your Best Life”… to be clear, Self Care has nothing to do with self indulgence.

Instead, self care is about pausing to really ask yourself what I really need in the moment. That’s not the same as what I really want. If I really need an early night, is binge watching because I feel like it, self care? If I really need to get exercise, is avoiding it because I don’t want to, really looking after myself…

Self care requires discipline, and self control. It asks you to treat yourself like you might a small child who doesn’t know better; to take care of ourselves with a firm and gentle hand.
It’s aim is to treat you like you deserve to be treated, with love, compassion, forgiveness and patience.
This is sometimes the hardest thing to do for ourselves. But let’s face it, when will we need it more than in these times of chaos!

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Bullying and our Children.

It’s normal to feel frightened and enraged about any kind of threat to our children’s well being, here are six solutions that can help parents to be effective in taking charge.
1. Stop Yourself from Knee-Jerk Reactions
If you act upset your child is likely to get upset too. They might want to protect you and themselves from your reaction and the older your child is, the more important it is that they’re able to feel some control about any follow-up actions you might take with the school.

2. Get Your Facts Right
Ask questions of your child in a calm, reassuring way and listen to the answers; look for solutions, not for blame. Be your child’s advocate, but accept the possibility that your child might have partially provoked or escalated the bullying.3. Protect Your Child
Your highest priority is to protect your child as best you can. What protecting your child means will vary depending on the ability of the school to resolve the problem, the nature of the problem, and on the specific needs of your child. Each case, like each child is unique.4. Prevent Future Problems
. Concerned parents can help schools find and implement age-appropriate programs that create a culture of respect, caring, and safety between young people rather than of competition, harassment, and disregard.5. Get Help for Your Child
Finally, you want to get help for your child and for yourself to deal with the feelings that result from having had an upsetting experience. Sometimes bullying can remind you about bad experiences in your own past. Getting help might mean going to a therapist or talking with counselors provided by the school or by other agencies.

6. Make this into a Learning Experience
As parents, it’s normal to want to protect our children from all harm but our children of also need the room to grow. Upsetting experiences don’t have to lead to long-term damage if children are listened to respectfully, if the problem is resolved, and if their feelings are supported.

(Abridged from the wonderful students at Antibullyingireland.ie )